Bryan and I will celebrate our 30th Anniversary on Monday, July 25.
That got me thinking about the "letter that changed my life".
In December of 1979 I lived in Montana and Bryan was going to school at Moody Bible.We had maintained a friendship that started when we were 14. It wasn't a super close friendship but we somehow always kept in touch. Well, we had seen each other that summer {1979} and done some stuff together. He went back to school and I was in Montana. ANYWAY...on December 3, 1979 he sent me a letter.
It was an open, honest, heartfelt letter and it changed my life.
After I read it, I knew that if someone cared enough about me to, in a sense, "lay their heart on the line", I was safe in allowing myself to take a risk and return those feelings.
I am glad I did.
I have learned things being married for 30 years:
1. Being married is way easier than dating.
2. Being married is hard work but worth the effort.
3. Being married doesn't mean you lose yourself,
it means you find your better self.
4. Being married is enhanced by adding children.
5. Being married is more about someone else than about myself.
6. Dull and boring is a state of mind that I can control.
7. Being loved for who I am is comforting.
8. Being comfortable with someone isn't boring.
9. Knowing that at the end of the day I fall asleep next to the person who loves me best is the best sleep aid I know.
10. That sometimes you do stuff because the other person enjoys it and that makes it fun.
11. Laughing about yourself, with someone who accepts you, is freeing.
12. Mowing the lawn gives you a good tan.
13. Sharing an ice cream cone as newly weds, because you don't have enough money for two, is good for you.
14. Having hobbies and interests different from each other is healthy.
15. Dinner as a family is important and hilarious.
16. Holding the ones you love with an open hand is vital.
17. Making someone laugh is invigorating.
18. Building a house together isn't that hard.
19. Building a home together just takes more investment. {of your heart}
20. Making your own holidays makes life more interesting.
21. Patience
22. Humility
23. Respect
24. Your spouse's injuries will bother you more than your own.
25. Taking a cup of coffee to someone every morning, if possible, is a small thing.
26. The small things mean a lot.
27. Just listening is sometimes harder than you think.
28. Hearing "You will have to pick out a piece of jewelry to comemerate this occasion." will never get old.
29. Loving someone for "as long as you both shall live" doesn't have an escape clause.
And finally,
30.That God put that person in your life because they are the best person to help you learn who God wants you to be and help you understand how God loves you.
I *loved* this post. I'm just sitting in my bed, having a few happy tears.
ReplyDeleteI listened to Dad's "Marriage Matters" sermon today and listened to the "Grace at home" one not too long ago and both of them made me cry (at two different Starbucks no less) because I kept thinking "Wow, I am the luckiest. I got to see this right before my very eyes." (also maybe hearing Dad's voice made me miss you guys too).
I am so thankful for you and dad and the incredible examples you are for us. I love you so much.
Happy Anniversary, Patti and Bryan!!!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. :-)
I REALLY wish you were coming up for the wedding. We are, however, quite excited to see Bobbi:).
Is Jayme going to come up with her?
Aaron and mine is on the 31st, and i'm thinking i'm gonna have to print off your thirty and say, "i'm getting there ... you get to pick the top 8" (: Loved your sweet post!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Patti, for this wonderful post! And Happy Anniversary tomorrow to you and Bryan! You are right - 30 years is something special. This coming February Ed & I celebrate #35. I agree with all 30 of your insights, and will try to come up with 5 more :). Also, letter writing is one of the BEST ways to fall in love and get to know someone. I love it that you have those paper reminders of your courtship. I know the ones Ed and I wrote each other are more than precious to us. Love you and have a wonderful day together!
ReplyDeleteEd & Raye