8 Acre Life: The DMV -

*DISCLAIMER*

As a rule our DMV people are cheery and helpful...

Today I called the DMV just because I was confused by a letter that I had gotten about my VW plates. On a whim I asked the receptionist if they ever come in early and she went and happily checked for me and told me that "Yes, they had come in and I could come get them." All I needed was the form that showed I had paid the taxes {a pink form that says boldly across the top - "THIS IS NOT A REGISTRATION"} my title for the car, proof of insurance and the form from the DMV stating that the plates were mine and paid for. Had all that. Then she said "You will need to turn in your old plates and registration." I explained that it was a restoration and we never had plates because we haven't been driving it all year. "No problem just pay for the registration then and you will be done." OK. I cruise up to the DMV and wait in line. "NEXT" I go up to the counter and smile and say "Here is all my documentation for my personalized plates." She looks at the pink slip and the letter and says "Well, are these plates for this car?"

Me: Pause for a beat... "Well, yes..."

Her: "OK {heavy sigh} waddles off her stool and to the back. Comes back with the plates. Takes my paperwork and insurance card. Looks at the insurance card, hands it back to me. Looks at the pink slip and says "These plates expire next month."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Her: {slower} "These plates... expire... next month."

Me: "How can they expire next month when I just ordered them and haven't even registered the car yet? When I paid the taxes they told me not to register or insure the car until the restoration was done and this pink slip isn't a registration. It says so right there."

Her: {stabbing her finger at the pink slip} "Because your registration expires next month so these plates are only good for a month."

Me: "You're not making any sense and that's not a registration." {OK, that right there didn't help matters at all...} "I am not trying to be thick here but I never registered the car so how can it expire? It just got done. We have had it in pieces in the shop the entire year and since it is done we are registering it and paying for the plates. I just insured it."

Her: "There is no mileage on the odometer reading here."

Me: "It's a 1972 Beetle, it is exempt."

Her: "THEN HOW DO I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T DRIVEN IT 1000 MILES THIS YEAR?"

People are starting to stare and murmur. Good thing it was behind my back.

Me: "Because I said I haven't and when I paid the taxes they said all I needed to do was come in when it was done and pay to register it and the registration would start when I did that. Not last year when I paid the taxes."

Her: {grabs all the paperwork and stomps off saying...} "I'm going to my supervisor. We will just see about this!"

She comes stomping back, slams the paperwork down, grabs a folder, gets a form and starts filling it out. She writes "1972 VW BEETLER" and I just started laughing. {That right there didn't help either} Then she put that I lived in Lincoln. I said "I actually live in Firth." She scratches it out vigorously with her pen writes FIRTH really big and says "YES, but is that where the CAR was?" Still laughing {me} "Yes." She shoves the paper across to me and says "Sign it! That is you saying you didn't drive that car all year. That is a legal affidavit you are signing!"

Me: {trying really hard not to laugh any harder} "That's fine since I DIDN'T drive it all year."

She starts to enter all the information into the computer then she says "HAVE YOU INSURED THE CAR?!" I refrained from reminding her that she had indeed looked at and read my insurance card. I just handed it to her with the check and my ID. She starts marking the check and says "I need a PHONE number!" I didn't even bother to point out that it was right there on the check. I just told her.

I was using up a lot of my reserves of restraint here.

In the end I walked out with my dignity in tact and these...